a Mother in Search of the Unbearable Lightness of Being

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Monday Mourning

Mourning for the man I have immense respect and gratitude for. Because of him, I am always proud to say that I am a Singaporean, and to call Singapore my home.

Singapore may be small but we are mighty, all thanks to Mr. Lee Kuan Yew. I cannot wait for Olive to learn just how badass and legendary he was (and ever will be), when she grows up.

Thank you. #SingaporelovesYew #NoYewnoUS



My Husband Says the Darndest Things

I think I should have daily posts titled ‘My Husband Says the Darndest Things’.

Today, over a lunch date with Oska, we were on the topic of our daughter (yes, she is always a topic in all our conversations ever since I got pregnant with her). I was asked to rate Olive on a scale of 1 to 10 for the following questions which Oska ended up rating on his own before I could even respond:

1. Cuteness – His response: “20. She is the ultimate cute. She is going to be the cutest now right?”

2. Expressiveness – His response: “20. When she is happy and when she is angry, she is oh my God…”

3. Fats content – His response: “Above average.”

4. Thigh ratio (I think he meant thigh to body ratio) – His response: “Above average.”

You see, Olive is so lovable in her Daddy’s eyes that she cannot even be placed within a scale, whatever the scale might be.

Bow from thelittlebowco; Sunsuit from Sapling Child; Shoes from Carters.

Bow from thelittlebowco; Sunsuit from Sapling Child; Shoes from Carters.

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The things to fear in life

Repost on my wordpress what I had posted on Facebook back in 21 December 2014, when I woke up in the middle of the night to breastfeed Olive:

Because Olive needs a Mr. Kobayashi in her life, and some haiku.

So here it is, my very first haiku dedicated to my daughter:

Whimpers in the dark
Under the orange moonlight
Beckons her closer

Also, mama wants you to know that…

“Having eyes, but not seeing beauty; having ears, but not hearing music; having minds, but not perceiving truth; having hearts that are never moved and therefore never set on fire. These are the things to fear.”


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Breastfeeding & Intelligence

This just in from BBC news: Breastfeeding ‘linked to higher IQ’.

The article basically explained how breastfeeding is beneficial and that there is a possible link between breastfeeding and intelligence (though results from many studies including this featured long-term study in Brazil offer some insight but are still inconclusive).

Whatever the case is, I have definitely been brainwashed enough by lactation consultants, paediatricians, research articles, breastfeeding support groups etc. that breast is best.

So I have been asked many times how long I intend to breastfeed for and my answer had always been, “WHO (The World Health Organization) recommends for babies to be breastfed exclusively for the first 6 months, and even with the introduction of solids, to be breastfed up to 2 years and beyond.”

Every time I begin my response with ‘WHO’, the non-mamas look at me as though I have crazy eyes and probably regretted asking me the question. The mamas though, reflect their crazy eyes right back at me. Amazing how these mums have the determination to breastfeed for more than a year, and some did 3 years and more.

I’d be happy to do the minimum 6 months. And I say to all mamas, breastfeeding or formula feeding, fret not as long as your kid is healthy and happy! Many of us weren’t breastfed back in those times anyway, and we still turn out well. Also, not all of us are able to or have the luxury of time to breastfeed but we can still be supermoms in our own ways.

Here’s Olive trying to look all intelligent with her first book of 123.

Tee from Whistle & Flute; Shorts from Baby Gap; Shoes from Potatofeet.

Tee from Whistle & Flute; Shorts from Baby Gap; Shoes from Potatofeet.

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The Woman in Me

One fine day, while waiting for me to doll up Olive before we headed out, my husband suddenly remarked, “All the bad habits of a woman in you have been unleashed after having Olive.” I broke out into laughter because I couldn’t agree more.

Here are my top 3 transformations pre- and post-delivery:

  1. Pre – Always ready to head out in less than 10 minutes, sometimes even 5. Yes, I was, and still am very low maintenance.
    Post – Probably need close to an hour to prepare Olive’s diaper bag, make sure she is well fed, and well dressed but still don’t give two hoots about myself.
  2. Pre – Never a fan of shopping. In fact, my husband, Oska, shops more than I do.
    Post – Non-stop shopping for Olive, especially online.
  3. Pre – Very chill with a high level of tolerance, and zero pet peeves about Oska.
    Post – The nesting mother who wants everything spick and span, and who would love to have a husband who cleans up after himself (think dirty laundry strewn all over the floor, food/beverage packaging left on the table etc.).
Blanket from Jamiekay; Bow from thelittlebowco; Tee from Adidas; Leggings from Bonds; Shoes from H&M; Flounder from Singapore Airlines.

Blanket from Jamiekay; Bow from thelittlebowco; Tee from Adidas; Leggings from Bonds; Shoes from H&M; Flounder from Singapore Airlines.

So, I made a pie chart of where I am at now:


And this is where I aim to be at:

pieChart_jpg_to beBut you know, nothing is quite fair in this world, so I will just have to do my best in finding equilibrium, finding the balance, the harmony, the rhythm, the highs and the lows, the yin and the yang, the blues and all that jazz.

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Happiest Pi on 3.14.15

Olive turns 5 months on March 14th 2015. What a magical day that happens only once a century! And for that, she got not 1, but 2 cakes. Thanks π.

Processed with VSCOcam

Rocking her clothes from BAPE.

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50 Shades of Breastfeeding

It has been quite a while since I last posted. Been juggling new mom duties, work, and relocation, and it has been one hellavu ride.

Decided it is time to catch up a little on this blog, now that I am more settled and have time to breathe.

Here’s a funny post to share for a start: 50 Shades of Breastfeeding: Every Nursing Mother’s Painful Secret.

I was experiencing no. 5, Olive the tantric nurser, for the first month. The endless hours of nursing resulted in cracked nipples, blebs and milk blisters. You name it, I had it all. I tried so many ways to ease the nursing pain i.e. nipple shields, cold compress, hot packs, and nearly resorted to using a sterile needle to get at the blisters. But at the end of the day only 2 remedies worked for me:

1. Nipple cream (could not do without the Lansinoh or the medela purelan 100)110811_lansinoh_hpa_lanolin_topical_treatmentpurelan_frontal
2. Latch, latch, and latch because really, Olive is the best boob Doctor (and also the worst boob abuser).

Not sure how many mothers feel this way but I honestly think that the breastfeeding journey is much tougher, more intense, and more painful than the actual delivery. But it’s true also when other mothers tell me that it will only get better. It did, and I am thoroughly enjoying the breastfeeding journey now that I am a professional milk cow.

Olive the Milk Monster

Olive the Milk Monster

5 months on from when I started the breastfeeding journey, and I am now trying to defend myself from the “I-Cant-Believe-They’re-Not-Knives” Play. How fun! And yes, I mean it, it really is fun.